Feminism is a Process, Not a FightFeminism is a Process, Not a Fight
Feminism is a process – a long, never ending process as it seems.
I bet you think feminism first started appearing in the middle of the 20th century. I dare to say you are wrong – do you know that the first recorded uses of the world date back to the 1872? And yet we still live in a world where equality is not the norm. But still – we are moving faster ahead than ever before. Just think of society’s perception of a childless (by choice) woman in the 1800’s, in the 1950’s and now. Pursuing a career was not a girl’s most popular sacred dream during those times.
And yet today we have CEOs, COOs and a lot of other CO’s “occupied” by wonderful women. The biggest mistake we all make when thinking about feminism is that we forget it’s a long process – it has never been easy changing people’s mind. This means that we need to choose a strategy carefully and be consistent in our efforts if we want to achieve faster results. We all want to see results as fast as we can but sometimes that is just not possible. There are a lot of topics left to address but here are among the ones important currently:
1. Equal pay rates – This is currently one of the hottest topics – while high level management assigns themselves big bonus checks, regardless of their contribution to company’s success, it still feels a challenge for female executives to earn as much as their male executives. The gap is currently reported by IWPR to be a medium of 23%. A woman get’s paid $23 less for ever $100 earned by a man. And this inequality is visible in every sector, every industry, every country. I hear often that “if you felt like feminism is not your battle, think again – your income is one of the biggest metrics for how much your company appreciates you”. But does it have to be the metrics? While I am working with my clients, fair pay conversations rarely come up, because when we work through redefining success, pay and salary are relevant against what women truly desire and not against what men are earning. Usually, we talk about more flexibility, more time, and more opportunities. Of course women want to see their wages increase and if they have to choose, pay rates is a small factor of the compensation package they would design. Maybe it is time to rethink compensation and shift women mindset about asking for money. Indeed, women usually fight more for others than for themselves, while men will do the contrary and get what they want in their wallet!
2. Society perception – We discussed the problem with external audience feeling like you own them explanation for every decision you take. We need to work together to make them understand that a personal decision is exactly this – personal. Do you know where to find society’s discrimination against female executives – you might not be getting the best project due to your boss being afraid you might decide to start a family, or because you already have kids which deems you unreliable. People assume that something is going to happen because this is “normal” and stop you from achieving your goals. Women are still seen as housewives who only play executives before they find a man to marry and have children with.
3. How we see ourselves – Sometimes we are the reason we are still not appreciated as much as we need to be. Fighting aggressively, thinking only about a single win and not the whole war – this is why feminism is often seen as a bad influence. All reasonable people agree that equality should be the norm. A lot of the negativity comes from the perception of a feminist being harsh and attacking all the time. This is why some executive women try to stay away from the fight of feminism – they are not willing to carry the burden of those who attack.
I am one of them and I am revisiting this fight. I feel we can achieve greater results by educating and challenging our own limitations on this long walk to equality – but dare I say we are almost there. We often see ourselves as minority, limited and stuck in a box, and therefore we tend to fight to break those invisible walls. I was born in a household with a single Mom of 5, my grandmother was as well a single Mom of 5 and I never felt women were limited or could not accomplish professionally because both my Mom and my grandmother worked and even owned their own business. Consequently, my belief was that women from any background can make it and reach their goals like everyone else. This belief led me to enter the corporate world free of those invisible limitations that my female friends were talking about, and guess what? I never was paid less than my male co-workers leaders and executives, nor found it more difficult to climb the ladder because I was not in the box and not trying to break those invisible walls. Instead I was asking for what I wanted without fear I am not saying women and men are equal at this point, I just feel that your mindset and your approach can make you more successful by focusing on your goals instead of on the “box”.
