“We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”
—Jim Rohn

In life, it is very important that you surround yourself with people who love you, lift you up, and make you better. The people you spend the most time with are the ones who are most likely to influence and impact you as a person, so you must be judicious in your relationships in order to bring out your best self.

You may have friends, family, or colleagues who are naysayers or do not support your growth as an individual and as a businessperson. This doesn’t mean they don’t love or care about you, but rather that they
either cannot see your vision, are afraid of you changing and leaving them behind, or simply are a pessimistic personality. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should discard these people from your life. Instead, you must control the context of how you relate and spend time with them. For example, you may limit how much you tell them about your endeavors or goals and just keep conversations light and pleasant. If someone wants to get into debating about your life and choices, let them know you will not be part of that conversation and excuse yourself.

While you are analyzing your relationships, now is a good time to build
your tribe, which is made up of the people in your life who lift you up,
and are all focused on growing, thriving, and achieving with you. You
might have similar goals, but it is not necessary. What’s important is
that this tribe will support, encourage, and cheer you on, and you will
do the same for them. In fact, building a tribe of people who work in
different areas, come from different places, and want different things
will offer you a multitude of perspectives that could prove useful.
These are the people with whom you share your dreams, challenges,
and fears without judgment, and they will all rally around you.

When building your tribe, you want to include people who are driven,
positive, curious, and intelligent, among many other qualities. The
saying “iron sharpens iron,” applies here. Brilliant, successful people
will have the tendency to rub off on you, particularly if you are
following their example and advice. That is why it is so important to
create and enjoy your tribe; success rarely happens alone. You will
need a team to help you stay the course to reach your goals.

Again, recognizing your tribe does not mean abandoning everyone else
in your life. Instead, you are building mindful interactions with those
who will progress your journey in a positive way. If you are not getting
what you need out of your current relationships, then you must take
them at face value and ensure that you get the mental stimulation,
challenging conversations, and unconditional support elsewhere, and
in this case, that would be your tribe. This is about your growth. You
are simply seeking what you need to thrive.

I am glad to share my thoughts on surrounding yourself with
the right people here.

The world is in turmoil, from political uprisings, fear of nuclear warfare, and a continued fight for human rights. In the United States especially, the current state of affairs is particularly dire. Many of us are hurting, afraid, and angry due to the political climate and other global factors. What’s going on in our society is heavy; so many of us feel powerless. Unsurprisingly, this can make it difficult to focus on work when real-world consequences are imminent.

It is so important that you make the time to take care of yourself physically and mentally, but also to focus your thoughts and actions in a way that contributes to the greater good. Here are some ways to manage your emotions and find ways to be productive in difficult times.

 

Explore Your Feelings

Events that are emotionally and politically charged create unrest inside of you. That can be a lot to deal with, but it is important that you let yourself feel what you’re feeling and express it. Sometimes it seems easier to repress your emotions, but keeping them in isn’t healthy and exacerbates their intensity. Instead, take time to come to terms with your opinions and feelings on your own. Whether you do this through journaling, art, meditation, or other solitary activities, you are giving yourself the time and space to work through inner conflict, define your values, and decompress. It is important that you do this alone, away from other influences and free of judgment.

Find Your Power

The world’s societies are much greater than any one of us. While that is a profound and awe-inspiring concept, it is scary to think of how easily bad situations can escalate. You need to get yourself out of the headspace that makes you feel powerless. Realistically, no, you cannot stop wars from happening on international fronts or single handedly stop world hunger. That is not your calling. Your place on this Earth is make positive contributions however you can, from smiling at a stranger to volunteering at a soup kitchen, or even running for office. But do not think for one minute that those small efforts do not matter. They make a world of difference, especially when we all act with kindness and positivity. Your power is to do what you can to make the world a better place wherever you are, and that in and of itself is a big responsibility you must own.

Lean In to What You Can Control

As big as the world’s problems are, you do still have a voice. From taking the time to vote on Election Day and researching candidates and ballot questions, to canvassing for local politicians and donating to the campaigns you believe in, your actions go a long way in helping to decide our country’s future. On the divisive issues in policy and law, calling your Congress members, creating petitions, and educating others enable civil conversations and eventually, solutions, to the hot-button concepts. You may feel small in the grand scheme of things, but offering support to the candidates for office and the causes you care about can make all the difference. The act of getting involved takes courage, but will give you a sense of purpose and a place to make an impact.

These tips will not only keep you from dwelling on the bad, but will help you create more good in the world. Your morale will come from doing your part, and the fact that you are contributing will create personal satisfaction and fulfillment, making it easier to cope. Do not forget to take care of you; your dreams, your wellbeing, and your relationships. There is room for it all. Do not deny yourself the joy in every day because of the bad things happening in the world. You can both enjoy your life and work to have a better one at the same time; that is the ultimate coping mechanism.

Executive and leadership coaching is a profession and industry that is not widely understood, unless you are a coach or have been coached yourself. Because of this, myths have sprouted, and people may not have the full and accurate concept of what coaching is and what it entails.

Today, we will bust some of these myths for you by helping you better understand how executive coaching works (and how it does not work), and the ways in which it can be beneficial for you.

1. Anyone can be a coach and therefore, coaches are not to be trusted.

Anyone can claim to be an executive or leadership coach because the industry is not regulated. However, that does not mean there are not ways to vet coaches and ensure they have the proper training and experience.

Two organizations, the International Coach Federation and the Board of Education for Credentialing are seeking to bring more clarity and organization to the coaching industry. They have a code of ethics and a credentialing process so that budding coaches can take courses, have access to credentialed mentors, get a required amount of experience, and learn about coaching properly.

If you are seeking a legitimate coach, you can refer to the International Coach Federation registry for coaches that have gone through the training and credentialing as part of your leadership coaching research. Of course, this registry guarantees nothing further than that the coach has gotten training and certification, and cannot vouch personally for an individual coach.

2. Coaching is similar to therapy.

There is a huge difference between therapy and coaching. Therapists are medically licensed healthcare professionals that look into an individual’s past traumas, seeking to understand how those events have shaped the patient. Leadership coaches are not licensed, and do not involve themselves in a client’s past. Instead, a leadership coach is interested in looking forward and helping the client take steps towards their goals and creating their ideal life.

Now that is not to say past emotional weights or traumas cannot make their way into leadership coaching sessions. In fact, they do come up. In that case, a coach would then refer their client to therapy and perhaps collaborate with the therapist to ensure there is no overlap in treatment or coaching. However, no leadership coach is in the position to offer medical advice or emotional support of that nature.

3. Coaches will tell you what you should do. 

Leadership coaches will never tell you what you should do in any given situation. The purpose of an executive coach is to facilitate a meaningful conversation with you about your goals, needs, and dreams, and help you discover what to do based on what works for you. Then, they will help you feel empowered enough to do it. A coach may guide you through the process, but the actions and decision-making are all coming from you.

Every person had a different situation, core values, and lens through with they view the world, including your coach. Their opinions will always be colored through their own view, and a decision they would make may not be right for you. So instead of giving you concrete steps that may or may not suit you, a coach will help you find and implement your own solution.

Executive Coach Belinda MJ Brown discusses these myths about leadership coaching in greater detail here.

If you’re interested in receiving executive coaching, Equanimity Executive has reputable, credentialed, and qualified coaches that can work with you to take your business to the next level. Visit EquanimityExecutive.com to discover your inner CEO.