Executive Women: The Myth of Having it All
“Having it all” – from executive women’s perspective that means having a personal life and career. Why is it still almost impossible today?
There is a work-life balance problem that is seen mainly as female related – and no level of feminism and equality are showing satisfactory results. Unfortunately, we are still living in a society where personal choice is seen as a possibility to attack someone. With the level of privacy close to zero, it is understandable why people feel like they have the right to have an opinion on other people’s decisions. There are three main points that you would have to address when you decide to combine career and family but they work the same if you as a woman decide that you don’t want to have children.
1. The enemy at home – For some women family is very important and they might feel like they are betraying their expectations. The role of a stay-at-home mother is accepted as a rule but a successful executive can’t see the full value of leaving the daily activities that bring her joy. What you can do – Talk with your spouse about your plans of managing a family before getting pregnant and even before your engagement. If you are not on the same page, chances are you will never be. If he believes your place is at home, while you are planning to go back to the office as soon as possible – talk about it!
2. The enemy at work – The biggest problems you might face at work. You might see less important projects sent your way, less long term plans, less of everything. Even if your managers and leaders know about your decision to get back in the office as soon as possible, they just don’t rely on you. It would take a lot more to convince them – you might never even succeed with that. What you can do – Ask for more responsibilities but don’t overfill your agenda. Know your limits and show that to your co-workers. If they see that you are confident and nothing is changing, they will even trust you more. The problem might even be trickier in Europe if you don’t ever want to have kids because women are still expected you to surprise them with a pregnancy – most people would not understand your decision and keep on insisting you would change your mind.
3. The enemy within you – You think the society is your biggest enemy but it might actually you. You can’t win this fight without creating awareness. My advice is to question your thoughts and your beliefs system – why do you really care what people are saying about you? Are they an important part of your life? If you decide to pause your career and be a housewife and mother, they would say you throw away so many great chances. If you go back to work soon after work, they would say you are a bad mother (Do you remember the articles about Marissa Meyer when she took over the CEO position at Yahoo just 3 months after giving birth?). If you say you don’t want to have kids, they would try to prove you are lying and you are just a lonely feminist. What you can do – Believe in yourself and trust the decision you made based on your core values. A reality check of your values and beliefs will help you understand why what other people think about you affect you so much and overcome the challenge. Awareness about your self imposed limitations is your way to design your life on your own terms. This last enemy is the biggest of those three. If you are not willing to make a choice, or if you are not 100% confident about it, you might never feel like “you have it all”. Remember – happiness is a state of mind that depends on you. A study conducted last year by networking giant LinkedIn and Cross-Tab, shows that 63% of women find success in the possibility to achieve and maintain a good work-life balance:
Are you trying to find the right decision? Do you need a guidance on the topic? Here are 2 solutions:
1. Check our video interview with Laura S Scott – She talks about prioritizing, taking strategic decisions and being childless by choice.
2. Book a coaching session – We have already helped other women like you who were afraid of taking the wrong decision. We can help you understand what YOU really need and how you can make it happen.
