Finding Blame is Draining You: Find Out How to Quit the Blame Game For Good

The blame game is one of the biggest problems draining our energy. Reports show that 80% of us are experiencing life at level one or level two energy where most thoughts are related to victim mode or anger mode.

We always blame someone else when we’re in victim mode. We feel that the environment, our job, and relationships aren’t doing well, but we aren’t the ones to blame. In anger mode, we’re fighting against others or ourselves about our value. We just want to win all the time. The energy we expel in these modes is called catabolic energy which is defined as draining.

There are two main reasons why we get in these modes: lack of self-awareness and lack of courage to take responsibility.

Confronting the Society of Blame

Every day we encounter challenges. We have situations where we feel conflict is inevitable. When you play the blame game, you disempower yourself and create problems from challenges rather than creating opportunities. Confronting this will help you strengthen your character, learn new skills, and become a more loving and productive person.

As humans, we think we are what we think we are. In reality, we are who we are and not who we think we are.

Years ago, we agreed as a society that it would be easier to live our lives if we didn’t have to actually challenge ourselves. Looking into the mirror and realizing that we might have hurt someone isn’t an easy thing to do. We put shame on top of the emotion that we don’t want to share.

Some of us have been playing the blame game with ourselves, which is even more disempowering. We blame ourselves for things that happened in the past and never get over it. There is nothing to be ashamed of here. We all experience this, including me.

Several years ago, I decided to quit the blame game for good because it was so draining. When I decided to hire my first coach in 2005, I was ready to do something about it. Now, I want to help you realize how much more you can get out of life by quitting the blame game.

Create Awareness Around Blame

The first step to end the blame game is to create awareness. Identify if you or someone in your entourage has exhibited blame behavior. Most of the time, we’ll be able to assess this in others more than ourselves.

These phrases are common signs of the blame game. Read on to see if they sound familiar.

“I don’t have the career I want because of xyz.”

“I’m not in a relationship because…I’m not good enough or pretty enough or those guys aren’t up to my standards.”

“My children are not grateful because…”

“My company has no consideration for me or others.”

“I didn’t get my promotion because my boss doesn’t like me.”

“I have no money because I couldn’t go to college.”

Life happens and our minds create our experience of life. The more aware you are, the more in charge you’ll feel.

Have Courage to Quit

Courage is what will help you break out of blame and reach your potential.

If I’d blamed people my entire life, I would still be living in a really nasty neighborhood in France, I never would’ve gotten a degree, and I never would’ve become an executive. Yes, I was born in a low-income family with a single mom and five siblings. Yes, life was hard, but it never felt that way. I worked hard, did what I needed to do, and went to school. In high school, I was told that it might be better for me not to pursue any college. I did it anyway. At age 20, I led 80 people for a large global corporation. It led me to incredible heights. If I had blamed the circumstances of my life, I would still be like many other people I’ve known in the same place sitting on the same block.

The more aware you are, the more in charge of your life you’ll feel. From a place of ownership and responsibility, we make choices, not excuses.

Notice Blame in Your Environment

Once you’ve acknowledged your participation in the blame game, how do you get out of your own way? An important step is to notice the blame game at work around you.

Ask yourself, how much do you contribute to others playing the blame game? Who in your entourage is nurturing a blame pattern? I wouldn’t be surprised if most of the people you spend time with are blamers. If the people surrounding you are blamers, their energy will be draining. When you stay in this environment too long, you’ll feel like a victim too.

I challenge you to take note of who surrounds you. You don’t need to cut off all your relationships. Simply become aware of it and what impact it has on your energy. By observing and journaling, you’ll create more and more awareness in your life.

Soon, you will become more alert so you can choose how you want to respond to challenges. The choice will be yours. The blame game is over.